On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
