It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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