She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
