If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
