3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
