yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
