She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
