Your dad touched me again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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