I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
