Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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