I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Do vagina's smell?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
