I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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