Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
