Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time

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(303): View more from Colorado

Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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(720): View more from Colorado

He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

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(302): View more from Delaware

NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.

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(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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(+61): View more from Australia

I need a hobby that isn't dick related

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(044): View more from

i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.

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