that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
