if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
