i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
