shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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