I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
