She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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