to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
