I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she smelled like a LAN party
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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