Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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