At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
