i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Randomize
