I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
