he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
