chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
