Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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