I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
