i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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