I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
