Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
