Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
