Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
