I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
