I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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