When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
