after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize