We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
