Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My ATM looks so different sober.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
