she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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