she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
