in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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