I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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