Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
