Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
