Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
