I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
