People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
