haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
