based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
honey bunches of taint.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
