Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
