Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
