god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
