wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
