i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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