my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its not stalking. its research.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
