Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize